Dear Sangha,
The above quote may be brand new to you, or something you are quite familiar with. It comes in many variants, but I chose this one because it was recently brought to my attention through another group I attend. In this group members take turns bringing inspirational songs or quotes to set a positive intention for the day. This one was brought up recently, and I got snagged on the word react.
In itself, the quote gives the reader a lot of power and control over life’s often unpredictable situations; however, the word react feels out of place in a recovery setting. To react is to act quickly, without thinking. Like a knee-jerk reaction. It doesn’t have any time to pause for logic or thoughtfulness. In Wise Mindfulness we practice taking a moment to stop and access our wise mind to provide us the chance to respond appropriately to an unexpected triggering thought or urge, which according to this quote is only 10% of the situation.
You see, a thought on its own is harmless. It is the way in which we allow ourselves to either react or respond that controls the trajectory of our final decision. To access our wise minds in unexpected situations requires practice, and present moment awareness. Once I am aware of a trigger or urge, I am able to prepare myself to respond appropriately and stay sober from whichever substance, or behavior I choose to avoid. It takes practice and may become more natural and even can turn into a positive reaction over time. For me, being three years sober I still toggle between reacting and responding to triggers and urges. In comfortable and safe environments I am able to respond quickly with a “No thank you,” if offered a drink and can enjoy the event soberly. Other times I need time to reassess my thoughts and give myself time to reframe the aftermath of the situation if I give into temptation. More often than not I am able to thoughtfully respond in the way that keeps my sobriety in-tact. What I am trying to say is that just because I hold a lot of sobriety time under my belt, doesn’t mean I don’t have to stay present and aware, because that 10% of what happens to us can creep up in unexpected ways and throw us off our path. Practicing giving ourselves the time to access our wise minds gives us the time to respond in a way that is conscious, rather than impulsive or people pleasing. During this busy time of the year full of celebrations and 10% after 10%’s, remember to practice accessing your wise mind. Namaste, -Megan (Sangha Member) |
