Sweet Community,

I read a quote today by the luminous Joanna Macy, whose spirit took flight just three days ago. It said, "The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe." 

As I write this, I can physically feel my heart cracking open and becoming, well, something entirely different. Is the whole universe in there?

Seems likely.

In my Calendar, June 29th now says, "The day Pearl Dog became my Angel." 

God, it's still so hard to write about this, and yet it feels vital to honor the QUEEN who blessed my life for the past eleven years and who touched thousands of lives along the way. I mean, not too many dogs can say that.

Pearl Dog was, indeed, my bestie, my only child, my guardian, and my greatest source of comfort all wrapped up in one beautiful fur being. She was by my side through the tremendous loss of my mom, a baby, my partner's mom, my dad, and some dear friendships. What an incredible buddy she was throughout. 

As my friend Pixie said, "Pearl contained multitudes." 

I found out that Pearl was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of bone cancer just a few days before flying home from my month in Europe. I had just led two back-to-back retreats, and I was so excited to get home to my sweet fluff. Now more than ever.

I spent the next three weeks glued to Pearl's side, cuddling in the grass, burying my face in her fur, taking a million selfies, and sleeping outside under the stars with her every night.  

At times, it felt like we were living inside a children's story: one where a big, beautiful (but sick) white dog is still hell-bent on guarding her favorite girl from the coyotes who are trying to steal the cherries abundantly falling from the trees. 

I'll never forget one night, Pearl, after hardly walking all day, miraculously sprinted on three legs after a coyote, only to get stuck down in our field, adrenaline reserves spent.

Carrying her sweet 95-pound body back up the hill in a sheet (aka Pearl hammock) with my friend is officially why I lift weights. 

This was one of a million stories I could tell you from that brutiful time...

The truth is Pearl was always there.

At every painting session, local retreat, art opening, online course, and in every lonely moment, morning walk, and apparently in 2,430 pictures on my phone. 

There was Pearl, by my side. 

As someone commented on an Instragram post, Pearl was an ICON. 

And in true icon form, we sent Pearl off with what might be the most glorious, creative, and love-filled dog ceremony of all time. 

Gathered under a grove of old-growth sequoias with her favorite aunties all dressed in white, we tucked Pearl's precious fur body into a hand-painted box full of love notes, daisies, sheepskins, and treasures.

Together, we lifted her spirit with song, tears, drumming, stories, prayer, and so much LOVE. Indeed, we can create beauty and art out of even the most painful moments. 

I have to tell you, inside that box was a little treasure I found while searching for something to include from my mom. It was a nametag that said: Carol Bowley - Welcomer, a relic from the "Welcoming Committee" my mom invented at our church so every member would feel welcomed and included. 

Miss Pearl had a stunning send-off, and I'm pretty sure she had a pretty awesome welcome party too. 

THAT VISION brings tears and smiles every time. 

If Pearl touched your heart in some way over the years, I hope you'll send a little love as she continues to make her way into a place far more expansive and sacred than I can even imagine.

I feel her there, all around, and still I miss that fur body soooo much it hurts. If you know, you know...

Run free, my sweet fluff.

Thank you for showing me what the deepest of true love feels like. 

You will always have a paw on my heart. 

xo flora

PS. If you sent a message of Pearl love over social media, or if you respond to this note, thank you so much. I'm not in a place to be able to respond to everyone right now, but please know I read every word, and my heart is buoyed by your care.