Step Seven And Humility: The Misunderstood Virtue. “Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.” – Confucius When it comes to working your seventh step, the quality of humility really breaks down to having a reasonable perspective of yourself. It is quite simply seeing the truth of your life and your place in the world. In AA terms it is the practiced art of being “right-sized.” When you humbly ask your Higher Power to remove your shortcomings you are recognizing that you are neither too big nor too small. Gone is your self-entitlement or grandiosity; as is your shame, regrets or unworthiness. You’ve actually already taken your very first act toward humility, by admitting your powerlessness and unmanageability. Typically when practicing step seven recovering addicts realize that humility is not a state of being in despair or groveling, but a state of peace, serenity, and acceptance of “life on life’s terms.” In The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions it is stated, “the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of AA’s twelve steps.” The seventh step of AA is an ongoing opportunity for us to embrace the pursuit of humility as a fundamental aspect of staying sober. Wishing It, Does Not Make It So: Step Seven Into ActionTaking action means work. I know, most of us are averse to the word “work,” but the kind of work I’m talking about here has nothing to do with punching in a time card and suffering through 8 hours. Our work on the steps of AA’s Alcoholics Anonymous program simply means using our energy to be disciplined and committed in the pursuit of our goal of long-term sobriety and recovery. It takes work to stand up for ourselves, to be patient or to accept the emotional discomfort of new behaviors. Catching ourselves in our shortcomings and changing our reaction takes work. The more familiar you become with your shortcomings the more you start to notice, “this feels familiar, I’d better stop and pay attention to this!” Whenever a reaction feels involuntary, it’s probably something that needs changing. The great news is that when practicing humility in Step Seven you really gain a sense of your own humanity and the ability to have compassion for yourself and for others. We are all in this together, and we are all the same. Putting Step Seven into action means, for example, when you consciously gather the courage to say “no” to the request of a friend who tries to guilt or shame you into saying “yes,” you are actually working your program of recovery. When you set a boundary, pause when agitated, practice restraint of tongue and pen (this is a huge one for long-term peace), choosing not to interact with people, places and things that trigger you- you are working on Step Seven! Getting Right-Sized: Step Seven Questions & Actions Part of getting right-sized in Step Seven means making changes with the activity of our minds in addition to accepting and expressing our emotions. We learn to gradually bring the different parts of ourselves into a healthy balance as we practice new living skills. For some people a daily dose of prayer, meditation, and affirmations is very useful. |