It was an uphill battle for me until I was able to get open and honest with everyone else around me - but most importantly, with myself and God. I didn’t get relief until I talked with a few key sober people, who helped to build my courage up. I had this breakthrough moment where I realized that by using I had been suppressing and blocking myself from relief and potential. Having the courage to get sober showed me the greatest potential for a life well lived and that the sky was the limit! That being said, relapse is also a part of my recovery story. Strength in the face of pain or grief is even more challenging and requires us to have more courage. I’ve struggled so many times with the shame and grief of relapse. While I was in treatment after my relapse I remember feeling like I did not have courage at all. During my stay, I ran into somebody I had worked with professionally, who was touring the facility, and I just felt so much shame. I even came up with my acronym for what shame meant to me: S-Self
H-Hatred
A-Against
M-My
E-Existence What it took to turn that ship around was an inordinate amount of courage- and the courage once again came from people who supported me through this period. They showed acceptance and understanding until that self-hatred became self-love. When I have the support of other people it gives me courage. Once I get the courage to face the things I fear it allows the opportunity for more courage to appear. This I have learned in recovery and by bearing witness to the courage of my fellows. Throughout history the true heroes have not been the men and women that were not afraid, but rather those that faced their fear, acting despite those fears, and moving forward to overcome its grip on their lives. This, to me, is grace. | 
