Volume 23 | Issue 08     Web version

          NOCCO Anonymous Times                             (714) 773- HELP (4357)

1661 E. Chapman Avenue, Suite 1H

Fullerton, CA 92831

www.aanoc.org 

Published by North Orange County InterGroup Association of Anonymous Groups, INC. 

                            Step 8

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

“Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake.”– Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 77

Terrified of facing the wreckage of your past? Looking at the shipwreck of your alcoholic life from the shore is one thing, but taking actions to repair and mend what is salvageable is a whole other adventure!

Step Eight of AA Alcoholics Anonymous helps recovering alcoholics to live in the greatest peace, in partnership with others and themselves.

While Step Four could be seen as your personal housecleaning, Step Eight is more of a social application of the shame reduction that was begun in Step Four, when you realized that you have hurt others as well as yourself because of alcoholic drinking.

While working Step Eight you’re just going to make a list of people you have harmed and the specific ways that you have harmed each one.

Remember, you have acted with courage working all of your previous steps in AA and staying sober! With Step Eight you have the opportunity to translate your experience of courage into developing a compassionate spirit.

BREAKING DOWN STEP Eight OF AA ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

So here’s the thing, quitting alcohol and drugs is a big change. I think you know this by now! Moving into step seven actually involves us in the personal change of actively letting go of our shortcomings, actions and feelings that are liabilities. This change requires effort and action.

Simply asking for your shortcomings to be removed does not automatically make them go away. It is up to you to be aware and make new choices. Many people in recovery find comfort that their higher power can and does remove their character defects shortcomings when asked.

While working on the previous six steps you’ve been stripping away age-old layers of denial, ego, self-centeredness and other liabilities that consumed you when you were active in your disease. When we arrive at step seven we are ready to stop thinking so much about what we are going to get in life and start looking at what and how we can contribute to others in the world.

In my experience my higher power has never left me empty handed; everything I have lost has been replaced with something better. I was asked to put down the drink and the drug because my higher power wanted me to pick up something greater. This is humility to me.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS

Step 8 is mostly about identifying the damage you have done to others and listing those names. It doesn’t matter if the harm you caused was from selfishness, carelessness, anger, arrogance, dishonesty or any other character defect… it doesn’t even matter if you didn’t intend to cause harm.

You are going to make a completely thorough list, considering all the ways in which it is possible to cause harm to another person. Some situations are really obvious, for instance if you stole money from a person or business, or if you exhibited physical or emotional abuse.

The names on your list could be people you bullied, cheated on or treated coldly. Whether they are living or dead or will want to hear from you or not, it doesn’t matter. You are just making a list.

STEP EIGHT OF AA: JUST PUT IT ON THE LIST!

Before you can rebuild relationships, you need to identify the relationships that were damaged. That’s why you are making a Step Eight list. You get to take responsibility for your own part, not someone else’s, and to clean up your side of the street.

This is not a list for you to keep in your head; it’s the kind that you need to put down on paper. Putting names on paper takes the ideas out of our heads, where they may have grown to massive proportions, and right-sizes them. You have already catalogued your character defects and moral inventory, and now you’re going to examine some of the same situations from another angle and perspective.

For your 8th Step list you should include every name you think of, even if you’re not sure that you owe any amends in that particular situation.

You can put your name on that list, with an awareness that the way we make amends to ourselves is the ongoing process of stopping irresponsible and self-destructive behavior.

When you feel it’s pretty thorough, take the list and break it into 4 categories with your sponsor:

1. People to make amends to now. Once on a good sober footing.

2. People to make partial amends to in order to not injure them or others.

3. People to make amends to later.

4. People we “may” never be able to make direct personal contact.

You’re going to get to practice the principle of courage while working the Eighth Step because you can’t restrict your list only to those amends that you think will turn out OK. Remember to be incredibly honest, even if what you discover in the truth is painful to accept. As one of the AA old timers in my home group liked to say “The truth is gonna set you free, …but at first it may sting a little bit.”

8th Tradition

"Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers."

8th Concept

The Trustees of the General Service Board act in two primary capacities: (a)
With respect to the larger matters of overall policy and finance, they are the
principal planners and administrators. They and their primary committees
directly manage these affairs. (b) But with respect to our separately incorporated and constantly active services, the relation of the Trustees is mainly that of
full stock ownership and of custodial oversight which they exercise through their
ability to elect all directors of these entities

https://www.jasonwahler.com/recovery/12-steps-of-alcoholics-anonymous

FORGIVENESS AND A BUNCH OF COOL SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”– Bryant H. McGill

Spiritual principles abound in Step 8. Forgiveness, honesty, courage, willingness, accountability, humility and compassion are some of the biggies.

By listing who we believe we have harmed, we are holding ourselves accountable. By admitting we are human and have made mistakes, we develop compassion for ourselves. By forgiving those who have harmed us we are set free.

Extending a decent dose of authentic love requires humility, and knowing that these actions will not only help in your recovery but also benefit the greater good, requires a fair amount of trust.

REPAIRING BURNED BRIDGES: STEP EIGHT QUESTIONS & ACTIONS

Step Eight helps build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people.

Here are some questions to help guide you through working Step Eight:

• Are there resentments in the way of your willingness to make amends?

• Are you hesitating in any way before working on the eighth step- if so why?

• Why is it valuable to determine the exact nature of your wrongs?

• Why is it so essential that you are very clear about your responsibility?

• Are there people to whom you owe an amends who may be a threat to your safety or about whom you are concerned in some other way?

• Why is simply saying, “I’m sorry” alone not sufficient to repair the damage that you’ve caused?

• Why is only changing your behavior not sufficient to repair the damage you’ve caused?

• Do you have amends to make that are financial and therefore you do not want to make them?

• Can you imagine what your life would be like if you had already made these amends?

• Do you have amends to people who have also harmed you?

FINISHING STEP EIGHT OF AA ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

There’s a level of honesty in working the 12 Steps that some members of AA exalt in, because of the freedom it brings. The reason one of our slogans is “happy, joyous and free!” is because without alcohol in our lives we have freedom to take a deep breath and exist in the day, relieved of that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop, the jig to be up, or the police to come knocking.

Remember that it takes time to heal from traumas. As addicts we want to rush to the end result. However there is no prize for doing any of the Steps as fast as you can. Impulsively rushing in to make amends without taking the time to work with your sponsor could be as detrimental as not making amends. It’s never too late, but sometimes it’s too early.

Remember this: focus on a comprehensive eight step list, then let prayer and meditation the time for forgiveness to come. When you forgive, you heal. When you let go, you grow.

Norma R. - Chairman

Paul W. - Alt Chairman

Jill M. - Treasurer

Emily M. - Secretary

Tracy H. - Outreach Chair

Alicia B. - Outreach

Susie L. - Events Chair

Cindy L. - Events

Outreach Corner

The NOCCO meeting database is now linked to the “Meeting Guide App”, a free of charge meeting finder for iOS and Android that provides meeting information in an easy-to-access format.  If you don't have the app, you can get it on Google Play or download from the App Store.

NOCCO Hotline - (714) 773-HELP (4357)

We are available 24/7.  All calls are confidential.  Phones answered by sober volunteers.

Neighborhood Notables

Set Aside Prayer

Lord, today help me set aside 

Everything I think I know about You,

Everything I think I know about myself,

Everything I think I know about others,

And everything I think I know about my own recovery/journey

For a new experience in myself,

A new experience in my fellows,

And my own recovery.

Caught in the Bottle

Did you ever think, you'd make it this far?

All those days you spent on that stool at the bar.

The lying, the cheating, that you did.

The anger, the hatred, the dying within.

Were you ever honest? Did you try to be true?

Was it always that miserable, angry old fool?

When you're in the bottle, you really don't care.

All the people you hurt, the burden you bear.

Even though you've made it this far,

The lesson of life is what you live for.

Remember all those scary days.

You never cared who you pushed away.

Life meant nothing to you at all.

You could care less, making loved ones feel small.

It didn't matter if you lived or died.

The demons inside you took all of your pride.

Drink after drink, the lower you got.

The day finally came when you had enough.

It wasn't the bottle responsible for your demise.

It was all that hurt that you carried inside.

The recovery was purely hell.

All those demons inside had you under their spell. 

Day after day, you continued to fight. 

It took a long time until you could sleep through the night.

Many years have passed since those horrible days.

When life didn't matter, you prayed for the grave.

Never give up, it's worth the trade.

Stay off the bottle, don't waste another day.

Life's just too precious, don't drink it away.

Shatter that bottle and live life your own way.

To my brothers and sisters who now sit on that stool,

Every day in the bottle is not right for you.

Take the steps now that will lead you today.

Life is too precious, don't throw it away.

There's always someone who loves you enough.

Let them give you the help so you'll never give up.

Think of the days before you jump in.

Stay with it now, make it end.

Jump off that stool, stay away.

Thank God you're sober, what a wonderful day.

Gaetano San Paolo  -  May 31, 2021

Do you have something special to report for our monthly neighborhood notables?  Please email birthdays, celebrations, sober activities and other odds and ends to officemanager@aanoc.org.

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Group Contributions 

To help support local essential services, the General Service Conference suggests that individual groups, through an informed group conscience, adopt a specific contribution plan.  Click below to see all of the Group Contributions from previous periods.

July Group Contributions

AN Best Mtg. OC  -  20.00            BP Discussion Fri 8pm  -  166.00          FUL Mens Stag Thu 6pm  -  125.00

FUL Wmn Living in Sol. - 66.60    FUL Women's BB Thu.  -  189.70           HB Tower 11 Fellowship  -  153.00

HB Triangle Grp.  -  60.00            Intergroup  -  31.00                            LH Fri. Night Spkr  -  70.00

LH Topic Disc.  -  200.00              LOSAL Spiritual Growth - 45.00           LOSAL Surrender is Free -  405.00

NEW Meeting TBD  -  50.00          OR Ladies Night Book Study - 40.00     OR Rush Hour Monday  -  200.00

OR TTT Tue  -  150.00                  PL Right Start Sun 8am  -  150.00        PL Women's SOS  -  175.00

SA Two or More  -  25.00              VP 24hr Group Daily  -  58.00              WHTR As Bill See's It  -  40.00

WHTR Women's Acptnce - 90.00   YL Att. Mod. Daily 6am  - 426.00         YL BB Study Wed  -   57.00

YL BB Study Thur.  -  100.00         YL New Start 6am  -  489.00                YL Noontimers  -  125.00

YL Participation  -  200.00            YL Tammy's House -  100.00                YL Womens Discussion  - 125.00

ZM Exp, Strgth, Hope - 25.00       OR All About Me Men's Stag  -  280.00   YL BB Study Wed  -  41.00

BR 12 x 12 Mon  -  70.00              OR Men's Got a Coffeepot  -  50.00     

LOSAL Goodfellas BB Study Tue  -  50.00

Faithful Fiver Contributions

Jacklen C.  -  $ 100.00,    Jennifer P.  -    $5.00,      Angie C.  -   $25.00,      Michael V.  -     $5.00, 

Geraldine W.  -  $5.00,    Anonymous1  -  $55.00,    Lori L.  -      $15.00,    Kirk & Faith  -  $10.00,

Cheryle D,  -    $50.00,     Pamela C.  -    $25.00,    Deborah T. - $20.00,    Marla G  -   $5.00,

Faith & Kirk  -  $10.00,     Angie C.    -      $5.00,    Scott N.  -    $5.00      James S.  -  $5.00

Anonymous  -  $5.00,       Anonymous  -   $20.00,    Nicki & Deborah  -  $20.00

July Birthday Contributions

Happy Birthday - Norma R.  -  $72.00 

Individual Contributions

Katie M.  -  $50.00

David C.  -  $50.00

Peter V.  -  $ 1,000.00

In Memory

SPECIAL RECOGNITION

We just want to give a Special Shout Out to our Friends Peter V and his Wife Sandra for the Wonderful gift Contribution of $1,000.00. This is a yearly tradition from them, Thanks again from all of us at NOCCO

Statement of Financial Position

Each month, NOCCO provides accounting detail of income and expenses to indicate net profit or loss over the last month.  This information is available to any group or member.  Click below to see the financial detail from last month.

Thank You for your patience and understanding on our quest to better our communication on the Times.

www.aanoc.org site is under construction.  Please Review the Anonymous Times for current financial position.

NOCCO Hotline - (714) 773-HELP (4357)

We are available 24/7.  All calls are confidential.  Phones answered by sober volunteers.